We got quite a bit more snow this morning. But it tapered off by noon. But very windy. I was so glad I didn't have to go out. I am going to hate going out every day for those damn radiation treatments. I just hate being cold. In the winter my hands never get warm no matter how hot it is inside. But I don't like too much heat. My feet are always cold too.
Those three areas where they injected the ink in my backside were painful last night and swollen. One is right near my tail bone too. My tail bone has always bothered me so this was not something I liked very much. But today it's better. Just a little sore. I also have those black marker X's on those spots and a piece of tape up in the center of my back. Not sure what that is for. And there is a long black mark running down the center of my back too. I have to be careful not to scrub those areas. It's sort of a map so they know where to go I guess. Maybe the tape has my name on it so they won't get confused about who they are working on..Ha! Ha!
I am uncomfortable today. I'm not sleeping well at all. It's all the stress I guess. I drink Camomile tea every night to relax me but it's not working any more.
I have a list of questions to ask the Chemo Oncologist tomorrow. I have to drive up to Utica again and my appointment isn't till 3:30. That means I will be driving home in the dark. It's supposed to be real windy tomorrow too and some snow showers. Just hope it's not bad or I won't go.
I have been reading and reading about the Chemo effects. I think I have my mind up and am NOT going to have it. I don't give a shit if the doctors get mad at me. I am going to put some articles in here about the things that concern me the most. It will be in the next post.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
How Uncomfortable!
That table they put you on is so hard. It has a hole in the center for my fat belly to hang..Ha! But the foam thing where my head has to go is so hard. You'd think they'd have something softer. My chest was hurting and with my crooked spine it sure wasn't easy to lay there without moving. My legs were uncomfortable also. I did have all my clothes on. I think it would have been better without them. I think once treatments start I will have to get into a hospital gown. There's a room next to the machine room where people were sitting and waiting for their turn. I got through it. Got black ink crosses on three sections on my behind. One on each cheek and one near the tailbone. Guess they are going to beam the radiation through three spots. No wonder the skin gets sore and red. They say that will happen after the second week usually. They were giving me a Cat Scan to find the correct spot. That's why I couldn't move. I was afraid to breathe even!
I start my treatments next Wednesday, the 16th. The first 7 days I have to be there at 12:20 pm. That's a good time for me. Then the rest of the time I'm scheduled for 11:30 am.
I will be getting a ride from their van each day. At least I won't have to worry about driving.
The head radiologist woman explained to me that sometimes the machine breaks down and they might have to call me not to come in. And also if there is a severe snow storm then the van won't be able to get to me so I won't go. Which ever way I look at it, I still have to do 25 treatments. If I miss a day it just gets added on at the end and prolongs everything. I'm beginning to wonder if it's 25 days only because that is what medicare will cover. So they get them all even if we didn't really need all 25....makes me wonder sometimes.
I have to talk to the Chemo doctor on Thursday to decide if I want that or not. I'm still leaning on NOT having any. I don't like the sounds of all the after effects. Sore mouth. Hands and feet getting numb and peeling and sore. I remember my sister's. Awful. Having my eyes get worse faster. I already have Cataracts and Glaucoma. And the thought of having my immune system all broken down and getting anemic again, after all this time I spent building it up. Now I have to go back to eating stuff I don't want to but what the heck. Doesn't matter really. But I still want the best stuff in my system to help me heal faster. Just can't eat any raw veggies now or anything that might give me gas or anything to fibrous. That knocks the hell out of my strict diet..Ha! So maybe I'll pig out for the holidays and eat what makes me feel good. I might even buy some maple syrup and good bread and make some french toast. Haven't had that in years and I've been craving it.
I was so hungry when I got home that I had scrambled eggs. Haven't eaten them in a while either. Tasted so good! I still won't eat meat though. Eggs are close enough. Going back to eating good yogurt also. Plain and organic.
I was home by 12:30 today. Left here at 10:00. That wasn't too bad. I could not get my hands to warm up though. My hands and feet are always cold in the winter. I wear socks to bed most all year because my feet get cold so easy.
I think I better go back out this afternoon and get a few things. We are going to get some real bad weather starting tonight and into tomorrow. Sure glad I don't have to go out till Thursday.
Take care everyone.
I start my treatments next Wednesday, the 16th. The first 7 days I have to be there at 12:20 pm. That's a good time for me. Then the rest of the time I'm scheduled for 11:30 am.
I will be getting a ride from their van each day. At least I won't have to worry about driving.
The head radiologist woman explained to me that sometimes the machine breaks down and they might have to call me not to come in. And also if there is a severe snow storm then the van won't be able to get to me so I won't go. Which ever way I look at it, I still have to do 25 treatments. If I miss a day it just gets added on at the end and prolongs everything. I'm beginning to wonder if it's 25 days only because that is what medicare will cover. So they get them all even if we didn't really need all 25....makes me wonder sometimes.
I have to talk to the Chemo doctor on Thursday to decide if I want that or not. I'm still leaning on NOT having any. I don't like the sounds of all the after effects. Sore mouth. Hands and feet getting numb and peeling and sore. I remember my sister's. Awful. Having my eyes get worse faster. I already have Cataracts and Glaucoma. And the thought of having my immune system all broken down and getting anemic again, after all this time I spent building it up. Now I have to go back to eating stuff I don't want to but what the heck. Doesn't matter really. But I still want the best stuff in my system to help me heal faster. Just can't eat any raw veggies now or anything that might give me gas or anything to fibrous. That knocks the hell out of my strict diet..Ha! So maybe I'll pig out for the holidays and eat what makes me feel good. I might even buy some maple syrup and good bread and make some french toast. Haven't had that in years and I've been craving it.
I was so hungry when I got home that I had scrambled eggs. Haven't eaten them in a while either. Tasted so good! I still won't eat meat though. Eggs are close enough. Going back to eating good yogurt also. Plain and organic.
I was home by 12:30 today. Left here at 10:00. That wasn't too bad. I could not get my hands to warm up though. My hands and feet are always cold in the winter. I wear socks to bed most all year because my feet get cold so easy.
I think I better go back out this afternoon and get a few things. We are going to get some real bad weather starting tonight and into tomorrow. Sure glad I don't have to go out till Thursday.
Take care everyone.
Today Is Radiation Simulation
What a winter wonderland outside this morning! It looks real pretty but I have to drive 17 miles one way to the Faxton Cancer Center for my Radiation Simulation. Hope my old car makes it.
Here is a brief explanation of it. I will be back later to tell you what went on if different from this.
What is a radiation therapy simulation?
If you have cancer and are going to receive radiation therapy, you will probably have a radiation therapy simulation before your first treatment. A simulation session is a meeting between you, the radiation oncologist, and other members of the radiation team. During this meeting you and the radiation team plan where and how to use the radiation to destroy your cancer cells.
Radiation therapy uses high-energy radiation (X-rays) to shrink or destroy a tumor. It can cure cancer or help you feel better by making the tumor smaller.
Some alternatives to radiation therapy are:
* having chemotherapy (using medicine to destroy the cancer)
* removing the cancer by surgery
* choosing not to have treatment.
You should ask your healthcare provider about these choices.
How should I prepare for the simulation?
Follow the instructions provided by your healthcare provider. You may have a CT scan or PET scan before the session to find the exact spot the cancer is in.
What happens during the simulation?
During the session you will meet your treatment team, will see the equipment they use, and can ask questions.
A medical physicist, or dosimetrist, will work with the radiation oncologist to find the best way to aim the radiation at your cancer. You will lie on a special type of X-ray table. The radiation therapist:
* Will mark the area on your body to be treated.
* May also use a low-energy laser to mark the area. (You will not feel any burning or pain from the laser.)
* Will record measurements using prominent bones, such as your hipbone or ribs, as reference points.
* Will take several X-rays to be sure the radiation will be aimed where it will work best.
* Will repeat the aiming process for different angles if you are going to receive radiation from more than one angle.
The treatment team may need to make shields or devices to focus the radiation on your tumor. The shields are attached to the radiation machine. They will help protect your healthy tissue from radiation.
What happens after the simulation?
The practice session is a good time for you to ask questions about the side effects of the planned radiation therapy. You can find out what to expect and what you should not have to worry about.
You should ask:
* How long will each radiation treatment last? How often will I have treatments? How many weeks will I have treatments?
* What side effects might I have? When do they usually start?
* Will I feel well enough after treatments to drive myself home?
* What should I expect if I am having chemotherapy or surgery, or both, together with radiation therapy?
* What do I need to do to prepare for these treatments?
* Will I be able to keep working or keep taking care of my children?
* Are there recommendations for my diet?
* How much rest will I need?
* Do I need to take precautions to avoid infections from others (such as a cold)?
* What should I expect after the treatments are over?
* What should I expect if I choose not to have this treatment?
After the session you may go home. You should not wash off the ink marks. The therapist will need them for the radiation sessions.
Soon after the radiation simulation, you will begin your radiation treatments. During the course of this care you may have another practice session to plan treatment for a smaller area.
Here is a brief explanation of it. I will be back later to tell you what went on if different from this.
What is a radiation therapy simulation?
If you have cancer and are going to receive radiation therapy, you will probably have a radiation therapy simulation before your first treatment. A simulation session is a meeting between you, the radiation oncologist, and other members of the radiation team. During this meeting you and the radiation team plan where and how to use the radiation to destroy your cancer cells.
Radiation therapy uses high-energy radiation (X-rays) to shrink or destroy a tumor. It can cure cancer or help you feel better by making the tumor smaller.
Some alternatives to radiation therapy are:
* having chemotherapy (using medicine to destroy the cancer)
* removing the cancer by surgery
* choosing not to have treatment.
You should ask your healthcare provider about these choices.
How should I prepare for the simulation?
Follow the instructions provided by your healthcare provider. You may have a CT scan or PET scan before the session to find the exact spot the cancer is in.
What happens during the simulation?
During the session you will meet your treatment team, will see the equipment they use, and can ask questions.
A medical physicist, or dosimetrist, will work with the radiation oncologist to find the best way to aim the radiation at your cancer. You will lie on a special type of X-ray table. The radiation therapist:
* Will mark the area on your body to be treated.
* May also use a low-energy laser to mark the area. (You will not feel any burning or pain from the laser.)
* Will record measurements using prominent bones, such as your hipbone or ribs, as reference points.
* Will take several X-rays to be sure the radiation will be aimed where it will work best.
* Will repeat the aiming process for different angles if you are going to receive radiation from more than one angle.
The treatment team may need to make shields or devices to focus the radiation on your tumor. The shields are attached to the radiation machine. They will help protect your healthy tissue from radiation.
What happens after the simulation?
The practice session is a good time for you to ask questions about the side effects of the planned radiation therapy. You can find out what to expect and what you should not have to worry about.
You should ask:
* How long will each radiation treatment last? How often will I have treatments? How many weeks will I have treatments?
* What side effects might I have? When do they usually start?
* Will I feel well enough after treatments to drive myself home?
* What should I expect if I am having chemotherapy or surgery, or both, together with radiation therapy?
* What do I need to do to prepare for these treatments?
* Will I be able to keep working or keep taking care of my children?
* Are there recommendations for my diet?
* How much rest will I need?
* Do I need to take precautions to avoid infections from others (such as a cold)?
* What should I expect after the treatments are over?
* What should I expect if I choose not to have this treatment?
After the session you may go home. You should not wash off the ink marks. The therapist will need them for the radiation sessions.
Soon after the radiation simulation, you will begin your radiation treatments. During the course of this care you may have another practice session to plan treatment for a smaller area.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
I Am Happy Tonight!
My crippled fox showed up and he was right below my living room window! It was dark but with a little light from the next door apartment, I got to see him pretty good. He looks healthy and it seems that he has chewed off those nasty protruding bones that I was so worried about. I was hiding behind my curtains so I wouldn't spook him. I'll probably never get any more photos of him because I have to open the window to do that in the dark. But I don't care. Just as long as I know he's still alive and doing well. He can still run pretty fast, even with three legs. He did get spooked later. He must have seen the curtain move. I watched him run around the rock wall and across the grass area. Maybe in the spring I'll be surprised and he will come out during the day again!
That made my day!!
I haven't been able to go to the bathroom all day. Just bleeding. Took some laxatives and hope by tomorrow I will. It's not a good feeling, having a tumor that is an inch and a half blocking the way.....
I have got to clean myself out by Tuesday morning when I go back to the Radiologist. He will be doing a rectal exam that day. So it will be just liquids and soft foods for tomorrow. I hate all this probing and prodding. And it will only get worse as sugery time gets near. I figure sometime in March. Maybe by June I'll be feeling okay. I sure hope so.
I'm trying to find the best lotion and soap to use while on radiation when my skin will be all burned and raw. And what to use for my mouth sores because I'm sure I'll get them. Almost everyone does by what I've been reading. Going to ask him when I go on Tuesday. Got to get my rides all set up too. When I asked about that last week they weren't sure if there were any available in the valley. But I'll get that all straightened out soon.
It was cold today and it made me think how I'm going to hate going out every single day. I never went out much in the winter. Maybe once every two weeks and that was it. It's too hard to walk in that snow and sometimes the sidewalks are bad here. Makes me nervous. I've got to stop thinking about things like that. My anxiety level rises when I do that. I get panic attacks when I have to go places. But I guess I will just have to get used to going. I can't quit now.
If you go to my "Animal Stories" blog you can see the Christmas pages I made last year in Scrapblog with some of my critters. I'll add the link on here so it can just be clicked on. I really need to add my foxes to that woods scenery.
Take care everyone.
That made my day!!
I haven't been able to go to the bathroom all day. Just bleeding. Took some laxatives and hope by tomorrow I will. It's not a good feeling, having a tumor that is an inch and a half blocking the way.....
I have got to clean myself out by Tuesday morning when I go back to the Radiologist. He will be doing a rectal exam that day. So it will be just liquids and soft foods for tomorrow. I hate all this probing and prodding. And it will only get worse as sugery time gets near. I figure sometime in March. Maybe by June I'll be feeling okay. I sure hope so.
I'm trying to find the best lotion and soap to use while on radiation when my skin will be all burned and raw. And what to use for my mouth sores because I'm sure I'll get them. Almost everyone does by what I've been reading. Going to ask him when I go on Tuesday. Got to get my rides all set up too. When I asked about that last week they weren't sure if there were any available in the valley. But I'll get that all straightened out soon.
It was cold today and it made me think how I'm going to hate going out every single day. I never went out much in the winter. Maybe once every two weeks and that was it. It's too hard to walk in that snow and sometimes the sidewalks are bad here. Makes me nervous. I've got to stop thinking about things like that. My anxiety level rises when I do that. I get panic attacks when I have to go places. But I guess I will just have to get used to going. I can't quit now.
If you go to my "Animal Stories" blog you can see the Christmas pages I made last year in Scrapblog with some of my critters. I'll add the link on here so it can just be clicked on. I really need to add my foxes to that woods scenery.
Take care everyone.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
December 1, 2009
I've decided to take the radiation treatments. He wants me to start as soon as possible so I will. I won't wait till after the new year. If I'm not feeling well when Christmas rolls around I will just stay home. I did last year because of my problems. He really wants me to get the Chemo also. Says I will have a better chance of not getting it back and having everything work better afterwards.. They changed my date to meet with the oncologist. That is next Thursday. I have to go back on Tuesday for the "Simulation" and fitting for the radiation machine and marking my body. I'm adding all this information so you will all know what I will be going through in the next couple weeks till I start the treatments. Hopefully my body will be strong enough to handle all this stuff. I'm getting sick of this ache in my butt. All I did today was bleed. Couldn't go to the bathroom very well. It's these kind of days that tell me I better start doing something sooner.
I am at the stage where it's very curable. If I wait too long it won't be. Just like I waited too long to get the damn Colonoscopy. If I had gotten one three years ago, instead of canceling the appointment, it would have just been a small polyp and would have been removed. I'm paying for that mistake now.
Dr. Crawford let me know all the risks and some of my questions were answered. He says that a lot of that stuff could be a problem and says what they all say. There are no guarantees. He says I will need a dialator because the radiation will practically close up my vagina. I had read all about that. I told him I didn't plan on having sex any more in this life. It's been ten years now. But he said that I'd still need to because of doctor exams, like pap smears etc. I told him I wouldn't be bothering with any of that stuff at my age. He knows he's up against a tough minded old broad. Ha! Ha!
This is a quote from someone who had to use one after surgery...
"It was really no big deal at all. It's one small aspect of your medical treatment, the goal of which is to prevent scar tissue and vaginal stenosis.
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