Anxiety

I'm starting to get nervous about having surgery. From what I've been reading they always want to give you Chemo after surgery to kill off any stray cancer cells. God! I hate the thought of having all that poison dripping into my body. They don't do any localized chemo I guess. I will still probably refuse the Chemo and just let whatever happens, happen.
I have been aching more these past two days and bleeding more. At least I did have a few days where I felt good.
I'm going to get my paperwork out and rewrite my obituary in case I never make it through the surgery. And I think I better call the funeral home and get that all set up so my daughter won't have to do anything. Just in case. I was going to do that a long time ago but just never got around to it. It's like everything. We just never get around to it.
Trying to think of everything I might need while at the hospital and getting the bag packed. I bought myself a cell phone to have with me for emergencies only. I am going to take my camera to the hospital too. Maybe I'll video myself as I go through this. Of course for the first couple days I'll probably be out of it. Not sure if I will do that or not yet. I can't be without my camera! Heck. I might see something interesting. Like maybe a strange bird will land on the window..Ha! I'll probably be "seeing" things that aren't there. I wonder what pain killers do you? Oh well. just putting a few of my thoughts down.
Guess I better go to Walmart today and get a few more little items I will need. Talk to you all another time. Love you all.