August 11, 2010

Today was not a good day. I did not go to the bathroom. All I did was bleed all day when I tried. I was so uncomfortable and glad no one wanted to come visit.
My sister, Debby, came yesterday. I felt pretty good later in the day yesterday so I enjoyed her company.
Even though I was uncomfortable all day I went out to get groceries at 8 pm tonight after it cooled down a bit. It's been so humid here again. And tomorrow it's supposed to rain. I got through Walmart okay and was home by 9 pm. Just once when I was walking around in Walmart I had an urge and thought I was going to shit my pants but I knew it was only blood and I did bleed a bit. But I wear pads all the time. It was scary though. I am always so glad to get back home. I really needed groceries and am glad that is done.
There is a family reunion on Saturday and I'm hoping I can make it up there for an hour. I figure I won't eat anything Friday, or very little and then not eat much Saturday morning so I won't have an urge to go to the bathroom. It's only 5 minutes from my place so I can get home fast if I have to. I worry that I won't be able to hold it but I'm going to try like hell. It will probably be the last time I see some of those relatives. But I never know how long I will be living. No one does even without cancer. Might have a heart attack first.. Who the hell knows. I'm just trying to get through one day at a time here.
Time for bed. I am up too late. I usually am in bed by ten. It is now almost eleven. Take care you all.
Oh. I started up a different Youtube site and have loaded lots of my family videos and slide shows on there. I want the family to be able to go there anytime to watch them. I still have some old stuff to upload, like our 1988 picnic at Glimmerglass. it's the only video of our family that we have. I and my boyfriend, Don, had rented a video camcorder that weekend so I took videos all day. The cameras sure were big back then. This video has only been on a VHS tape all these years till a few years back i finally learned how to get it off and onto a DVD and then onto my computer. It's so long that it is in parts though. My nieces and nephews like watching it because they were small at that time. I'll try to get as much stuff on there as possible before I can't do it any more. it gives me something to do....Ha!