October 26, 2010

I'm trying to find a Vet that will put my turtle to sleep. No one in the valley will do it so I guess I have to take her to Utica. I'm going to put Jasper to sleep first and then decide on the birds later.
I wanted to go out today but my rectum hurts and I'm on the toilet too much. I have to go to the Motor vehicle and renew my driver's license by Friday. So I'm hoping tomorrow I will be able to go.
Still haven't asked my brother if he will come down and get me on the day of my operation. I'm hoping he will because my daughter can't take that day off. It's her busiest day teaching at college. My sister, Jane will be in Myrtle Beach and my sister, Jeanne's car is too small. I can't get up out of it. But hopefully I'll have everything worked out soon.
It's breaking my heart to have to put my birds to sleep. Especially Ricky, my Cockatiel. He can be such a pain but he's my baby. And I'm the only person he's known. He was a fertile egg when I got him and I watched him hatch out and had to hand feed him at 12 days old because my female was plucking his feathers out. So he's been a spoiled brat ever since. I have had a couple offers to take my birds till I'm well enough. I will think about that.
I got my prescriptions and details of what I have to do before operation day. I have to take Flagyl and Neomycin the day before. That stuff will kill off the bacteria in my system. Hope I don't get a yeast infection from that. I haven't taken antibiotics in over 35 years I don't think. I've read where you should be taking Probiotics up till that week of surgery to help your immune system so I might do that. I was taking them every day but quit a couple months ago.
The prep is the same as what you take for a Colonoscopy. I have to take 4 Ducolax at 2 pm the day before and at 6 pm I have to drink that 64 oz. of Miralax and Gatorade crap. It's the Gatorade I don't like. There's no taste to the Miralax but they want you to use the Gatorade to get the electrolytes. It says I can have breakfast that morning but I won't because I know how long it takes to get out of my system. From noon on it's only clear liquids up till midnight.
I am worried a bit about this invasive type of surgery. There are so many blood vessels and things that could go wrong but I am going to remain positive and hope that it works without damaging the nerves to my legs or something. My legs get weak and shaky now because that tumor is pushing on the nerves.
On the 10th of Nov. I have to be at the Oneida Healthcare for Pre Op testing. I have to be there at 9:30 am so I will have to leave here by 8:30 or earlier. I'll be gone quite a while. After that is done I have to be at Dr. Delpino's office up the street to meet with the Stoma Nurse at 1 pm. So I guess I won't be home till after 3 pm. Ricky will have a fit that day. He won't be getting an egg for breakfast. I don't uncover him till 8:30 as it is. I'll just have time to uncover him before I leave. He will be screeching all day long because I am not letting him out of his cage. That is why I have to put these birds to sleep. He would be making too much noise all that week I'm in the hospital, unless I do let someone take him. The lady upstairs really doesn't want to take care of them now. That's why I have to do this. And I'm not going to let him go where someone smokes or has a dog or cats. Ricky would be traumatized. But what if I don't make it out of the hospital? At least all this would be already taken care of. My daughter won't want to deal with the animals. She doesn't even seem to care that I'm sick or going through all this. She never even calls to ask how I feel. I know she's under a lot of stress right now with waiting for her closing on the house etc. She just doesn't seem to care one way or another about what happens to me. It's sad that no one in our family is close. Strangers seem to care more than family. That's why I don't want to be a burden on any of them and I'd be better off dying. And I'm not feeling sorry for myself. Just facing the truth. I believe in reincarnation and I'm hoping to come back next time with full use of my legs so I can do everything that I couldn't in this life. And maybe have good parents and lots of love around. If I don't come back I hope I am free to float around anywhere I want up there. Ha! Ha!
Got to get off this chair. My butt aches.

Update:
My brother, Rich, will come down when he gets off work at 7 am to pick me up the day I have my operation!! I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that any more. He can just drop me off and go home. He only lives 7 miles from the hospital. He lives in Munnsville. He even volunteered to take my birds while I'm there. Not sure if he could take the noise though...especially when he has to sleep during the day. I'll think about it.