September 27, 2010

I still haven't gone over to my doctor's office to pick up the blood test results. Wish they'd mail them to me. I got a call from the surgeon's office today and have an appointment on October 21st for consultation. I will be going to the Rome office for that at 3 pm. Guess it will be dark driving home from there just like it was last year. But at least things are getting started. I'll be going out in the winter weather probably for all kinds of tests again and probably won't have the surgery till after new years by the way it seems. They are so busy. I just hope he will do it and that the cancer hasn't spread too far. If it has then he won't do any surgery. No use in it then. But I'm keeping a positive attitude and hoping I will have it done. I am so sick of this pain in my butt and being afraid that I'll mess my pants all the time. The bag will be much better. If I die in surgery then that's okay too. I'm not afraid.
I still have to call the funeral home and get things set up for my cremation. I'm going to have Fenner's do it. I like those people. No funeral services and no memorial services!! Don't want any of that stuff! People can remember me the way they want to.
It's a gloomy, wet day. I did get out at 1 pm to the stores though and got what I needed. I liked the rain falling. It's about 60 degrees here today. The days are getting shorter and the leaves are falling fast. Won't be long before that white stuff starts falling. But I really do like winter if I can watch it from inside.
I'm in contact with my father's son that he had after mom died. Going to give him a few things. Pictures and information. He really wants to know his dad's side of the family. He'll be 46 in October. I wish I had gotten in contact with him years ago. I tried a few years back and did talk to one of his sisters but never got an address. I did tell her to tell him about the family reunion though but he didn't come. Maybe he will next year so he can meet his relatives. He has six kids of his own. One of his sons got killed in an accident two years ago. I'll be meeting him maybe in the next couple weeks to give him some things of dads.
That's all for now. Take care everyone.

September 25, 2010-Watched Jessi Today

I put these special effects frames around these. Jessi was playing with her dolls. She was real good to watch all afternoon. She does ask a lot of questions..Ha!

Nina dropped Jessi off for the afternoon while she and Jordan moved some of the heavy stuff from their house in Frankfort to a storage unit in Mohawk. She hasn't had her closing on the house yet and has to vacate her home in Frankfort because the landlord is moving in. She will be staying with her friend for maybe a week till the closing. The bank is sure taking a long time to finalize everything.
Nina loves her teaching position at the college. The kids love school. Jessi can't wait to go every morning. They've had their school pictures taken already. I will be looking forward to getting those.
I haven't been doing that well this week as far as going to the bathroom. Two whole days again and nothing but bleeding. I have a very slow moving intestinal system I think. Hope I hear from the surgeon soon.
It was too warm Friday. 87 degrees! But now it has cooled down to the 60's and I like it much better. The leaves are falling fast though it seems.
I still have got to get back to my primary doctor in Herkimer to pick up my blood test results. And to drop off a urine sample. I just wasn't feeling up to it on Friday. Maybe Monday. My Cholesterol is still high but my anemia is getting better and the blood count has gone up, thank heavens. That's all they told me over the phone. I'm anxious to see my CEA level that tells if the cancer is spreading.

September 21, 2010-Went To The Dr's

It was a beautiful day today. I felt pretty good going to the doctor's. I hadn't eaten since 3 pm the day before so there wasn't anything to bother my tumor or make me feel like I had to go. I had her give me all the blood tests she could so I could have the reports for my own curiosity. She ordered a CEA test also, which is an indicator that the cancer might be spreading. My blood pressure was 114 over 68 so that was good. I couldn't pee in a cup so had to bring it home. I'll drop that off another day. Dr. Aranda thinks it's a good idea to have the colostomy bag also. I'll let her know when I hear back from Dr. DelPino. I hope he will do it.
After I left the doctor's office I went to Walmart to get some groceries and a few other items. I finally got home and got something to eat around 3 pm. So that was 24 hours that I fasted and I didn't even feel hungry. But as soon as I eat I start feeling pressure in my rectum. I couldn't go of course. Just blood comes out. So now I will be uncomfortable all night. I took three Ducolax at 8:30 pm and hopefully they will work sometime tomorrow. But it's starting to get to the point where they don't even work very good. That's why I really want this colostomy now. I can't deal with this any more. Rather empty a bag than have pain and aching all the time in my rectum. Just hope the cancer hasn't spread so far that he can't do it. But I'm hoping for the best.
Guess I'll go to bed shortly. I'm tired. Take care everyone.

September 20, 2010-Wrote My Letter To Dr.

I finally wrote that letter to Dr. Delpino asking him if he'd give me a permanent colostomy and take that tumor out if it isn't too late. Here I go with more tests again that I hate. Not sure if he will do it because I will still refuse any Chemo. Just have to wait now till I hear from him. He will want me in his office for consultation first.
I have a Dr's appointment tomorrow at 12:45 for blood work. That's for a follow up after the blood transfusion.
At least I went to the bathroom today but all watery. Not feeling that great. That's why I'd rather have a bag. I'm sick of all this ass-end problems. Ha!
That's all I have to report for now.
Jeanne was over on Saturday and Debby stopped by yesterday.

September 16, 2010

This week has not been so great. I couldn't go to the bathroom at all for two days. I doubled up on the laxatives and finally started going yesterday. All day long. And still going this morning but I felt better today than I have for a while. I was happy because I knew I had to get out today and get a few things. I did go out around 1:30. Went to Aubuchon to get my critter food and then to Walmart for a few items. Then I stopped at the Farmer's Market and got some veggies. It was raining but I didn't mind. I like the rain and getting wet is fun. I will probably pay for not taking any laxatives today but I can't when I want to go out. So tonight I will take some and hopefully they will work tomorrow without getting too uncomfortable.
My sister, Pam's father died on Monday. The calling hours are tonight. I won't be going but Jeanne and Jane are. John Zuis and his wife, Betty, adopted Pam when she was two years old. Betty died a few years ago. John was a nice man. Easy going and friendly to all. He was 85. Had a heart attack right in his chair at home after he had been out all day with his sister to go see their brother in the nursing home in Utica. Pam said he was thirsty and cold and asked her to bring him a blanket. When she got back he was gone. She tried CPR while waiting for the ambulance but it didn't work. He has had Congestive Heart failure for a while. Guess it was expected at any time. He was very active. He golfed at least three days a week. I know Pam will miss him. She's been taking care of him and living in the same home she grew up in for a few years now. She bought it from John. It's a good thing. She doesn't need any hassles from the rest of the family.
I saw Pam's son, Gregory when I was pulling in a parking spot at Walmart today. He said his mom had a bad day yesterday but they were preparing for the calling hours tonight and the funeral tomorrow. I guess they are all gathering at the VFW in Herkimer after the funeral.
Steve is still down south with Alysha. She's getting packed and ready to move to NH at the end of the month. Guess she's in the process of selling stuff to get some money. I think Steve will be riding along with her to NH. She is not used to driving anywhere like that. Not sure when Steve will be back here to his house. My brother, Mike, wants him to move to Vermont where he lives. I think he should. He has nothing here and no job. This valley offers nothing for anyone.
I guess all is well with everyone else in the family.
I'm still thinking about what I should do about my situation. I still have to write a letter to the surgeon and see if he thinks it would be a good idea to take my tumor out and give me a permanent colostomy. It sure would be better than having all these bathroom problems. But I'm scared and still thinking about it. I better hurry up before the cancer has spread so far that he can't do it. It already might be too late. I hate going through all those tests again but I'll have to. I will still refuse any chemo or radiation.
Well. That is all for now. Take care everyone.