November 29, 2010

I'm home! I made it through the operation. Not feeling as much pain as I thought I would and the doctor was surprised how fast I'm recovering. I got home today at 1:30 PM. My brother, Rick, brought me home. My sister, Jeanne and my brothers, Rick and Jimmy paid the extra money so I could have a private room while I was there. Thank God! I'd have hated being in a room with another person and have to deal with them hurting also and their visitors and sharing a bathroom.
Everyone was very nice at that hospital. I have no complaints there.
I can't write any more yet because it hurts to sit.. The stitches in my butt are pretty sore right now. I'll be back soon.
The cancer has spread into my liver. But I have maybe another year at least to live!! One day at a time!
Love you all and thanks for the well wishes and prayers.

November 21, 2010-The Prep

I am having a problem tonight. I took 5 Ducolax early this afternoon like I was supposed to do and they never worked. Now I've drank over half of the Miralax mixture and I am still not going to the bathroom. I am worried now that I might have a blockage and they might not be able to do the surgery as planned if I can't get all this crap out of me.
I didn't eat a thing today either and ate light yesterday. Only because I do know that I have a very slow moving intestinal track. But this is not good. I want to get this surgery over with now! I don't want them postponing it. Where in the world is all this mixture I've drank so far???I sure hope it will bust loose soon. I started drinking this stuff at 6 pm and it is now 8 pm. And not much comes out. At 11 pm I take my last antibiotic pill. Then I hope I can sleep after a nice hot shower.
If things start moving I'll come back and report.. What a shitty subject huh??? Ha! Ha!

8:30 PM
It finally started but I don't think it's enough and I have only one cup of that mixture left. I hardly think I'll be running clear. Guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens and what the doctor will say in the morning. Hope I'm not still going when my brother picks me up in the morning. Yikes! Wonder if anyone else has ever had this problem?? Talk about slow moving ! Damn. I guess I should have just stayed on liquids for about five days before this.
10 PM
I've been sitting on the toilet for the past hour but it still is not clear yet. I am so tired and just want to go to bed but I have to wait till 11:00 to take that damn antibiotic.
I'm going to sign off. If I get a chance in the morning I'll come back.
Take care everyone and I hope I make it back to continue blogging.

November 20, 2010-NO VISITORS PLEASE!

I have written before that I don't want flowers or visitors at least for a few days. I will be in too much pain and have all kinds of tubes hanging from me. The Epidural will be stuck in my back for up to five days because of the pain. I just can't stand having anyone around me when I'm in pain. If any of you couldn't come and visit while I was at home then don't bother coming when I need to be healing and feel worse. Apparently some don't bother to read this blog either. Sorry if I sound too harsh but it's just the way it is.
Jeanne isn't even staying after the operation. She knows I'll be out of it all day. I don't want anyone coming into my room when I don't even know they are there. If I have to I'll tell the hospital not to allow anyone in my room.
Jeanne will have the information so if anyone that she doesn't call wants to know anything then call her.
The guns are going off like crazy out in the back woods this morning. I am feeling nervous for my animals out there. The twin fawns and their mom and the fox family. First day of big game hunting today. But those guys don't care what they shoot at. Jerks!
I'll be back later.

November 19, 2010-Three Days Before Operation

My sister, Jeanne came over today. She picked me up a few items. Band Aids and some Wart remover to try and get rid of that growth on my upper left arm. My doctor told me to try that instead of having it surgically removed. Hope it works. The band aids were for when it bled, which it did yesterday. It's growing fast so I have to get rid of it. It's the same kind of growth I had on my leg years ago. I have an awful scar from when they removed that!
Jeanne is going to drive up to the hospital on Monday and be there when they operate. She will wait till the doctor tells her that everything is okay or not and then go back home. I told her I will be out of it so no sense in waiting for me to wake up. But that is nice of her to want to be there. She will call everyone on the list I gave her. Gloria's son Christopher will post it on Facebook. And she will call the lady upstairs who will be watching my birds.
I gave her a bunch of DVD's I had made for her and some photos and some of my mother's stuff that I've had for years. She's next in line to have them.
I cut my hair and colored it early this morning when I first got up. Just one more thing to do and that is laundry. I'll do that tomorrow.
I'm all set to go now. Tomorrow I will eat lightly and then Sunday it's just liquids. I want to make sure I can get everything out okay on Sunday. I have to be clean as a whistle!
I'll write a short note before I leave.

November 17, 2010-Time Is Getting Short

Five more days till my surgery. I'm trying to get as many things done as I can. Printing out instructions for the lady who will be watching my birds and printing out a lot of information for my daughter just in case something happens. I made some DVD's for family members and will get some out in the mail by Friday. I also got some of my Christmas stuff out. I want some color in this apartment when I get back home. I love Christmas time. I also got my Grand kid's stuff all ready to wrap. I am giving them some things that I promised them a long time ago. Some dolls for the girls and collector plates that they had picked out for themselves. I told them they had to wait till they were ten years old so they will be surprised to get them sooner.
I've got to cut my hair and color it before I go in the hospital also. The shorter the easier to take care of since I won't be able to do too much for a few days. Got to do some laundry also by Saturday. Then I guess I'll be all set to go.
The doctor's office called me today and told me I didn't have to take that Neomycin. I had inquired about it because about ten years ago when I had a growth removed from my leg they gave me Neosporin to put on it and it broke all out. So my Surgeon said not to take it. Just take the Flagyl. I'm glad because I was worried about that and would have hated to have a reaction from the inside out, like itching and swelling of my body. The less antibiotics the better. Just hope I don't catch anything at the hospital. That always worries me too. But can't be worrying about that or I'll go crazy. I'm putting my trust in this surgeon, since he is supposed to be the best around that area. All his patients love him. I like him because he takes the time to explain everything and will sit there and talk as long as I have questions.
My daughter finally sent me an e-mail today. I haven't heard a word from her since the 1st on my birthday. But she's been real busy. She got all moved into her house and is still getting things set up and organized. I told her that my brother would make the decisions if something happens, like to not resuscitate etc.
I did sleep a bit better last night but did not take the sleeping pills the doctor gave me. I don't trust them. I slept about 7 hours off and on all night I guess. Better than three. The natural stuff I took didn't work the other night and I read that you shouldn't take it for two weeks before surgeries. The Passion Flower interferes with anesthetics. So I'm glad I looked that up. There wasn't much in these herbal tabs though. Lots of other stuff in it too. But best to stay on the safe side. I have quit most of my vitamins also except for Vit. C and Selenium. And I take my Probiotic every morning. They are safe.
What a windy day here. Not much rain except for a few showers. But it did rain all last night. Maybe that is why I slept better. I like hearing the rain hit the window.
I guess that is all for today that I can think of. Got to get off this chair. My butt aches.

November 15, 2010-Final Doctor Visit Before Operation

I got my final tests done today. The EKG and vitals etc. I'm all set for the operation next Monday. I wanted my doctor to take a growth off my arm that's been growing fast but they don't have the burn equipment at that office and she said she could cut it out. So I decided not to do that just yet. She also said to try Wart remover so I will. It's just like the growth I had on my leg 11 years ago. And on my right arm I have these hard spots that can grow into that like is on my left arm. It's weird. Maybe I can ask someone at the hospital to burn it off while I'm out..Ha! Ha! But no. They want to send you to a dermatologist and that takes three months. Dr. Oz says you can use wart remover to remove skin tags also so I was going to do that too because I have quite a few of those. Years ago I use to cut them off with a razor. It worked. They never grew back on my neck.
She wrote me a note for the landlord also. I needed that to claim what I've spent all year on all this stuff I need. Hopefully my rent will be reduced. She also gave me some sample sleeping pills to help me sleep better. Not sure if I want to take them though. I'm kind of leery about that stuff. If I feel I need to then I will. I want to get more sleep so my body will be in better shape next Monday.
This is my last week to eat solid foods. Not sure when it will be before I can eat anything again. I should be able to a couple weeks after the surgery but I'll take that as it comes. I won't be eating anything with sugar in it though. But I'll be trying to get a lot of protein in me this week. I bought salmon and organic chicken. Got squash and greens so I should be all set.
I haven't heard from my daughter since my birthday on the 1st. Don't even know if she's all moved into her new house or not. I was going to drive up there today but I had to get home after the doctor's visit. I was very hungry. I stopped at the Dollar Store to get some batteries for a small radio that I will take to the hospital with me. I always thought they had radios built into the remotes but that one nurse said I could bring a radio if I wanted so I guess they don't have any. Bad enough I'll have to share a TV. Sure wish I could afford that $55 a day for a private room. I really hate being in a room with anyone. If I'm noisy I'll worry about bothering them and if they are noisy I won't like it either. But when you are only on Medicare and Medicaid what can you expect? Ha! Hopefully I'll be passed out most of the time to even care.
I am going to just relax this week as much as I can. I don't have to go out for anything now.

November 14, 2010 AM And PM

I'm not sleeping well at all. But then I haven't in years. Just worse now with everything on my mind I guess. I don't even get three or four hours. I am so tired that I go to bed real early. I might fall off for a half hour then I can't sleep again so I turn on the radio and listen to a talk show till I doze off again. This morning I turned the radio on at 1 am again and then it went off an hour later so I left it off and still was awake till 4 am. Back awake at 5:30. I really need to relax somehow. I drink Camomile tea but it doesn't help. Maybe when I go to my primary doctor tomorrow she can give me something. It's not caffeine because I only drink one green tea bag a day. And it's not sweets. I have given sugar up. I think I slept better when I could eat a cookie..LOL
My brother, Steve and my nephew, Rick, stopped over yesterday afternoon for about an hour and a half. Steve said he might be riding up to the hospital that day with me because Rich wants him to do some work at his place. Rich always comes down to Ilion to pick Steve up if he needs him and then brings him back home. Steve doesn't drive. That's a lot of driving for Rich but if he needs help then it's worth it I guess and Steve makes some money too.
That hip and back pain is with me every morning and it takes till about 11 am before it subsides. I guess the way I walk causes it. That hip hits my rib cage all the time because of my very crooked spine. I'm hoping my crooked spine don't cause the Epidural to go wrong. But I'm sure they've worked with worse backs before. I can't stand lying on my back so this whole procedure after the operation is going to really bother me. Hope I'm knocked out for most of that week so I don't care..Ha! But I know I won't be because I have got to get up and move as fast as possible. I sure don't want more lung problems. I'm trying to breathe deep now but I always end up forgetting and shallow breathe. I really need more oxygen and that is the only way to get it.
This day is going to be another beautiful one and near 60 degrees. I am hoping I can get to the store to get some groceries later today. I know I have to go tomorrow but if I can get a few things today I won't have to do so much tomorrow. Going to the doctor's is enough really.
Hope everyone has a nice Sunday.
I'll come back later tonight if anything exciting happens..Ha!
Update:
Nothing exciting happened but I did manage to get out this afternoon. Went to Agway (Aubuchon) to stock up on more critter food so I'll have some when I get out of the hospital. Then I was going to go to K-Mart but drove through and there were no close parking spots. I haven't been in there in over a year. Ended up at Walmart. Bought a lot of groceries and a lot of other stuff I needed. Bought some pajamas. I never wear them but figured I will when I get home from the hospital. I'll probably live in pajamas or nightgowns for a while. I sure won't feel like getting dressed if I'm in pain and can't even sit down.
Picked up my two prescriptions for the antibiotics that I will have to take the day before surgery. A few odds and ends that I will need to take with me to the hospital. And the Miralax and water that I'll have to drink also. I did not get the Gatorade. I hate that stuff. So I bought "Smart Water" instead. It has all the electrolytes in it. I don't want all that sugar that's in Gatorade. Got home around 4:30 pm. just in time too. I had to get to the bathroom.
I haven't eaten anything since breakfast because I have to go see the doctor for my EKG tomorrow. I will be hungry when I get home.
I think today was our last sunny day for quite some time. Rain is moving in tomorrow and the rest of the week don't look too good either. Maybe even get snow by the weekend they say.
So that was my day. Now I'm ready to head to bed.

November 11, 2010-Bad Hip And Back pain Today

I couldn't walk when I woke up this morning. My left hip and back were in real bad pain. It's a good thing I have this walker. I guess I walked too much yesterday with the crutches. Walking with the crutches hurts my hips a lot and I had to walk quite a ways from the parking lot into the hospital. Then down some halls. Next time I'm asking for a wheelchair. But I guess they will put me in one anyway because I'll be getting admitted. They are going to have a walker ready for me after the operation. I might fall with the crutches. I have to get up and walk the very next day if possible. To keep blood clots from forming in my legs. And do breathing exercises to keep my lungs clear. They have you sit on the edge of the bed and cough while holding the incision a certain way. It's called "Splinting". They want you to practice these before your surgery too.One thing I like is they put you into a hospital gown that is heated. And they want you to stay in a gown all during your stay because of all the tubes that will be hanging. The heated gown system is called "Bear Paws". I am so glad of that because I always freeze in those rooms.

I also will have what they call a Flowtron DVT System put onto my legs. It's a pump with inflatable leg garments. It keeps the blood in your veins moving back to the heart. It gently squeezes the leg muscles. I don't have many so I hope it works..
They also give you what is called an "Incentive Spirometer" It's for deep breathing exercises after surgery to help the lungs. They give it to you so you can use it when you go home also. It's very important. I don't want anything happening to my lungs. I have borderline emphysema as it is. I breathe to shallow so this will help me. Sure is a lot of stuff going on when you have surgery like this. I'm keeping positive!
11 days till surgery.

November 10, 2010-Pre-Op Testing Done

I left the apartment shortly after 8 am this morning and drove to Oneida to get all the paperwork and blood drawn for the pre-op testing. First I had to fill out paperwork and write down all my medical problems. I had already had this printed out for them so they copied it, along with all my blood test results from my primary doctor in Sept. One girl took care of all that. Then I went into another room to have blood drawn. Then into another office where this woman explained everything that will be done that morning before the operation. I will be getting an Epidural! I didn't know that. Yikes! have to have a needle put in my back where they will administer pain meds for a few days. Also an IV in my arm. I refuse to have them in my hand. They will administer any other meds and IV fluids with this. A catheter will be put in before the operation also. So I don't pee all over the place..Ha! Ha! They told me this all would take an hour and a half and that's exactly what it took. I left there at 11:00 am. I had two hours to kill before the appointment up the street at my surgeon's office with his Stoma nurse. I found the Walmart store and went in there to pick up a few items. Then I went to my appointment. The nurse marked the spot where she thought it would be best for the Stoma and bag to be. It's on the left side and below my belt line. She injected ink into that spot so the doctor will know where to cut and pull the intestine through. Then she explained the stoma and types of bags and how they work. But after surgery is when they will be working with me more to pick the best bags for me and show me how to use and change them.
The Epidural Analgesia could be left on me for a few days, according to the pain. Usually from 2 to 5 days. Just hope I don't get wicked headaches from it. Some people do.
So now I have one more appointment to get an EKG at my Primary doctor's in Herkimer on Monday.
Then the day before surgery I have to start my preps. Only clear liquids allowed that day. At 2 pm I take 4 Ducolax with 8 oz. of water. At 6 pm I start drinking the Miralax mixed with Gatorade. They suggest Gatorade but I asked them if I could get Pedialite instead because I can't stand the taste of Gatorade. She said that would be fine as long as it has the electrolytes in it. It will cost me more but I don't care. All this stuff costs me money. Medicare doesn't pay for that. So beginning at 6 pm I drink that whole 64 ounces every 15-20 minutes until all the solution is gone. And hopefully I will be cleaned out.
Also I have to take the antibiotics. Neomycin 500 mg. at 3, 4 and 11 pm. And the Flagyl 500 mg. at the same time. Hope all those antibiotics don't cause me any problems. I hate taking that stuff but I have to. I'd rather deal with a few problems than catch an infection in my intestines that could be far worse.
I got home at 2:50 pm and was so glad to finally eat something! I hadn't eaten anything since noon the day before just so I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom all day. It works. I felt pretty good, although weak today.
I will quit any vitamins or herbal supplements 7 days before the surgery. I have already quit all sugar. I want to heal as fast as I can.
Another thing. They changed my admitting time on the 22nd from 9:30 to 8:30. I was afraid my brother wouldn't be able to get here in time but he says he will be here that morning at 7:15. He must be going to leave work a little earlier. Thank heavens for Rick!! I don't want any strangers taking me up there. Then he can go home from there and go to sleep. He only lives 7 miles from the hospital. He doesn't have to stay there with me. They will be getting me all prepped anyway. I gave them Rick's number in case something happens though or he has to say do not resusitate. I'm putting him on my Health Care Proxy now because my daughter won't be available that day and my sister, Jane will be in Myrtle Beach. Jeanne will be working also. I don't want anyone visiting me all that week either. I'll be in too much pain. I don't like people gawking at me when I'm in pain or thinking they have to be there. I don't want any flowers either. I just want to heal and get back home. Then if my family wants to visit they can. If I'm up to it. I will be having nurses and aids for a while after I get home. To make sure everything is healing okay.
I hate being in a semi-private room also. I'd rather be alone. I can have a private room they say, if I want to pay $55 a day. I can't afford that. Maybe I could for two or three days. Just to have my privacy. I'll wait and see. Maybe no one will be in the room. You never know.
So that was my day today. I am so tired and will be going to bed real early tonight. I never sleep very well as it is. I might ask my doctor for a sleeping pill the night before the operation so I get rest. In the booklet they gave me they say they will do that if needed.
Take care everyone.
12 days till surgery.

November 7, 2010

The sun was shining this morning but by afternoon it was cloudy. Very cool today. It might have gotten up to 40 today. Going to warm up this week though.
I felt okay just long enough to get out early today for my critter food and to fill up my gas tank. Also had to stop at an auto parts store and get some more fuses. My signals were out again. So I put one in and they worked but not sure for how long this time. They lasted over three months last time. I moved the wires around again in the trunk. Maybe they got pushed onto the body of the car and blew the fuse again. I just hope they are working when I have to travel to Oneida on Wednesday for my Pre-Op testing. It will be a long day. I have to leave here shortly after 8 am because my appointment is at 9:30. Then I have an appointment at 1:00 pm to see the nurse that will mark off the spot where my stoma will be. Hope I'm home by 3 pm and before it starts getting dark. Was getting dark by 4:30 today. We changed our clocks back last night. My Cockatiel wanted to be covered at that time...so I covered him gladly..Ha! Only thing is he will want to be uncovered an hour earlier now in the mornings. I don't care. I'm always up anyway but like some quiet time on the computer before I uncover the birds.
I feel much worse tonight than I did early in the day. I'm on the toilet so much. My butt hurts and is sore from having to wipe so much, even though I do use the wet wipes. I haven't taken any laxatives or softeners for two days but I still have the runs it seems and I haven't taken the iron pills for about four days and it is still so black. I can't wait to get this operation. I am so sick of all this. Nothing helps the pain and ache I have. Sometimes I just want to pop a couple Ibuprofen but I know I can't.
For the next two weeks I am going to try and build up my immune system to get ready for the operation. Absolutely no sugar will go in my body. I'm taking chlorophyll and selenium supps also. But a week before the operation I will have to give up all my vitamins and supplements. They don't want anything in the body. I'm taking a probiotic every day because those antibiotics will do a number on me. They kill off all the good and bad bacteria. hope I don't have to be on them long. I've read some articles where antibiotics are not good at all for cancer yet I have to have them to try and prevent any infections. I'll get right back on everything after I'm home if the doctor says it's okay to do so.
I sure hope all this itching goes away after this is all done. It's driving me mad lately. I've tried everything I can think of. The Prep-H doesn't work nor the Zinc Oxide cream. The A&D ointment helps a little. The Witch Hazel helps the most but have to keep applying it. Then I remembered I had bought some KY Jelly last year in case I needed it if I had had that other operation. I applied that to my rectum and it seemed to help more than anything else did. Weird huh! So next time I'm out I'll buy another tube of that stuff. The Aloe stings too much so I don't like that. Even though it says 100% it still has preservatives in it.
Two more weeks to go now before the operation. I know I'll be getting panic attacks as the time gets near.
Oh! I am not going to put any of my pets to sleep. Jasper, the turtle is sleeping under the living room chair where he always goes every year and will be there for over a month. I hope so anyway. Then I won't have to worry. And the lady upstairs said she will take care of my birds every morning and cover them every night. Thank God for that!! I will have to think of something real nice to give her for doing that. She won't take any money. Last time when she watched them for that day I was having my blood transfusion I made her a nice 8x10 of the foxes and framed it in a nice wooden frame. She loved it and has it on her wall. She will throw out some nuts every morning and evening also for the squirrels and foxes. She loves watching the foxes from her window also.
So things are working out better and I feel much better now about that.
I have to get off this computer. My butt hurts so bad right now. Take care everyone.

November 5, 2010

I went out last night to Walmart. Had to get a few groceries and other items. It was raining but I didn't mind getting wet. I bought a new mattress pad, hoping to make this air mattress more comfortable so I can sleep better. I still was awake half the night. But it's because of my cancer problems. The ache and itching keeps me awake. I can't wait to get this operation done and over with.
This morning my left hip and back are in pain and I can't stand up straight or walk. Maybe this happens every time I go shopping. Not sure. But it is a lot of walking and lifting when I finally get all done bringing the stuff in and putting everything away. I'll live through it like before. It will go away eventually and taking extra Tylenol might help. I can never get rid of all my pain but some of it is just worse than others at times. That crooked spine causes a lot of it. Not much I can do about that.
It's another rainy, gloomy day here in Central NY. But I still have all my critters to watch outside and I woke up to enjoy another day. I always try and make the best out of each day even with the pain all the time.
Now I'm off to start the day. Get my birds up and get breakfast. I'm running a little late because I didn't sleep well. But the birds are very quiet. I'm trying to get them used to me uncovering them a little later anyway because of the time change coming.
Have a nice day everyone.

November 3, 2010-Cremation Plans All Set

I'm glad I got my cremation arrangements all done. Don't have to worry about that any more. And it will be so much easier for Nina when the time comes. Wrote up my obituary also and gave Pam Hess my photo to use in the paper and online. I'll update that if things go okay and I live longer. Now I have to get a few more things all done and go through some more stuff that I want to throw out.
I had a weird thing happen tonight about 8:30. I sat down on the sofa and all of a sudden I had this awful acid come up into my throat. That burned so bad! I have never, ever had that before in my life. I hurried and got some baking soda out and mixed it with water and drank it. It took about 20 minutes before it subsided. How can people handle that all the time if they have Acid Reflux??? Yikes! It was like pure acid burning my throat. Sure hope that don't start happening all the time. It could have been what I ate for dinner four hours before. I better be very careful from now on. I had soup but also ate a few spinach balls. I think that is what did it. I won't be eating any more of those things. From here on out I am going to be eating good. No sugar at all. I want to clean up my system before the operation so I heal faster. And sugar is the worse thing to put in a body if you want to heal fast. I want to build up my immune system.
I was uncomfortable most of the day. And right now it's the worst. But I don't dare put anything in my belly now! No Tylenol. Doesn't really help anyway. All I'm drinking is water with a little baking soda in it. I'm very tired and will be going to bed any minute.
Take care everyone.

November 2, 2010-Grandchildren

Nina and the kids came over last evening. They brought me a birthday cake and beautiful flowers and cards. I already had ice cream so we enjoyed ice cream and cake. Nina gave me their school pictures for this year also. This is Jessi's first year of school. The kids are growing up so fast. Jordan had his long curly hair in his pic but he has since cut it all off. I'm glad because he looks better with short hair. The pictures came out so nice. I enjoyed their visit and thank heavens I was feeling okay. Only the girls came with Nina though. Jordan lives with his father up north.
I'm also adding their Halloween costume pics that Nina took for Halloween. Nina dressed up on Friday night and went out to a party. Loved her costume too! Halloween can be fun. I didn't care for it too much when I had the bar though because you never knew who was coming in. I wouldn't serve them anyway unless I saw their ID. But people could wander in that I had kicked out and I wouldn't know it. It could be a bit scary. Glad those days are over!
I'll be on the toilet all day today. I took three Ducolax last night. I only take them when I know I don't have to go anywhere or have company over. I'm too uncomfortable all day. It won't be long now till the operation.
I called Fenner Funeral Home and they will be coming soon to get all the paper work ready for my cremation in case I don't make it through the operation. Then I have to rewrite my obituary to give to them and I should be all set. Got a few DVD's to make for people too before I go in. Want to make sure all the loose ends are tied up.
It's sunny today but very cool. It was only 24 degrees at 8 am this morning. And frost all over the cars and grass. Winter is almost here.
Have a nice day everyone.