March 30, 2010-Got Cast Off-Hurts

Well. I got the cast off. Was shocked to see how my hand looked though. There were bruises between my forefinger and thumb. It hurt there all the time. There were bruises on the underside of the wrist where the cast was too tight and on the outer bone where it rubbed. My hand is so sore on the top near the wrist though. Can't bend it at all and can't close my fingers yet. I had weird feelings in my whole arm for a while like pins and needles. Still feels that way between my wrist and elbow. Must be the nerve endings wakening up. Hope that tight cast didn't do any permanent damage. After I got home I soaked my hand and arm in Epson salts and cleaned all the dead skin off. Then oiled it with Olive oil. The indentations where the cast was too tight have gone now and it is swollen. In time that will go down and it will get stronger I hope. But the bone is crooked and maybe I'll always have pain. I can't turn my arm so my hand is upward. It hurts real bad. Might never be able to.
I know now that I won't be driving for a while. I wouldn't be able to hold on to the steering wheel yet and my shifting arm is hard to shift so that would be a bad problem. So I guess I'm still stuck for now. Maybe my daughter can take me to Walmart and push me in a wheelchair. That's all she needs. Another kid..Ha! Ha!
That doctor didn't seem to care about anything but getting me out of there. I told him about the wicked sharp pains in my shoulder. He said that therapy should help that. I'm supposed to go to therapy three days a week for a month at least. I guess he knows that there is nothing he can do with that bone that didn't set right.
How am I supposed to get to therapy if I can't drive? I don't want to go anyway. Maybe I can get a therapist to come to my place. I'll have to look into that again.
I'll have to be real careful when I'm in bed. It hurts more now than when I had the cast on but that is because it's all loose now.
He wouldn't give me a brace. He said it's better to exercise it all the time. I agree. But it is scary.
So. That is all for now.
It's been raining hard here all day. And will be all night. But then some nice weather will be moving in for the weekend!

March 27, 2010

I'm anxious to get this cast off but now I have another bad problem with that same side. Something has gone wrong in my shoulder and the pain is so excruciating at times that I want to cry. I'm not sure if I tore my rotator cup or a tendon but it's awful. I was just being able to reach with that arm too. This is a set back for me. I sure hope the wrist has healed enough to be able to wear a brace. I know I still have problems with it. I can't turn my arm so my hand faces up. It hurts when I do that. I'm not even sure if I'll be able to drive for a while. If this shoulder hurts like that I probably won't. I won't be able to push one of those heavy carts around at Walmart either probably. I will take it easy and have someone go with me the first time. Sure will be nice to get in my car and go though. My shift arm is not easy to shift so not sure if my weak wrist will be able to handle that yet.
I am bleeding more from my rectum these days and last night I ached all night long. So I guess this cancer will continually get worse. If it comes to the point where I can't take the pain then I will get pain killers but for now I will hold off taking even the Ibuprofen. But with this shoulder I might have to take some. I hate to though because that will make me bleed more I think. I'm always trying to juggle what I eat and take because of my liver and gall bladder too. Just got too many things wrong at the moment. But I'm hoping I will make it through summer and be able to go more.
I haven't heard from the medical supply lady yet so I guess if I do get that scooter it won't be till summer at this rate. But I'm going to try not to need it anyway.
I might have to ride in one of those stupid carts at Walmart too. But if the seats aren't adjustable then I won't be able to because I won't be able to push myself up to get out of it. When I do get there I'll check them out.
I can't write any more. My shoulder is hurting and my hand feels like it's swelling up. This cast is so damn tight.. I tried cutting it but it's too hard. Hurry up Tuesday!!!

March 22, 2010

8 more days to go!! I sure hope I'm healed enough to get this cast off. My shoulder is killing me on that side too. I try to bring my arm out straight in front of me and it hurts like hell. Can't believe that arm is so weak now. Muscles sure go to hell fast when you can't use them. But I keep on trying to exercise that arm and fingers all the time. I think I might have hurt that shoulder when I fell too. I know it will heal. It has before but took almost a year. I can't fall again or it will be the end for me.
I'm just taking it easy and trying to get to next Tuesday to get this thing off. Not much happening. It was a rainy day. Still raining. We need it. There wasn't hardly a bird in sight today. Not sure why. The rat was out there chasing anything in it's path. I'm sure it's a female that is ready to have babies. Her nest is somewhere near my bedroom window. That's where she always goes back to. So if I do poison her I will put the poison peanut butter balls in that area inside the wall long after dark. Just a matter of time. I hate to do it but have to. Or I'll be getting a notice from the landlord to quit feeding all the critters. Wish I could quit really. But I know the squirrels would chew the windows all along the building. Yikes!
I have to go. Can't sit here tonight..

March 15, 2010 How I'm Feeling

Two more weeks to go before this darn cast can come off. Lot of weakness in the wrist bones and slight pain when I try to do things with the fingers but I think it's healing okay. The bottom of the thumb area is still swollen. Really irritating.
I'm not feeling as good as far as the cancer goes. Getting aching and bleeding again. Guess I just have to take the good days when I can. I do try to do the enema thing each night but it's not as productive as when I used the other method before I broke my wrist but it will have to do for now. It's better than nothing.
I took my own trash down to the trash room today. Was very careful. The door is so hard to push open. Always afraid it might knock me off balance. I'm always happy when I can accomplish things myself.
I can't wait to get out and get my own groceries again. Sure hope I'll be able to get up out of my car okay. That will be the biggest challenge. Sure wish I had a small truck now. So much easier to get in and out. Maybe I can lift my seat somehow or add enough height to them so it will be easier. I'll worry about that later.

Take care everyone.

March 11, 2010-Thursday

The lady came this morning about the power wheelchair. After talking to me she suggested that I get a three wheeled scooter instead of the wheelchair. She said the wheelchair would be too heavy to take anywhere and the scooter comes apart in three sections. She thought I'd be happier with a scooter so I took her advice and will go for that instead. There's a long process in getting one. Now she has to get a letter from the Physical Therapist who was here and then make an appointment with my doctor. She will go with me. They have to have papers filled out. So it will be a another few weeks before I get that. At least I will feel safer having that here when I need it and it will be nice in the summer. I will feel free! I won't be afraid of falling wherever I go.
My daughter came over last night and left Jessi but took Salena and they went grocery shopping for me.
My thumb area is still swollen. I haven't called about it yet.But it bothers me a lot so should. Or I'll end up taking the scissors and cutting part of the cast off myself.My elbow is so sore. Hope that goes away soon.
An old classmate of mine came over today and brought some old photos for me to copy. He brought my 5th grade class picture. I had lost all mine years ago so it was so nice to finally see it again. I'm adding that too. Thanks Gint!! He is the boy right behind me. We used to play together a lot as kids. The girl in the top left corner, second one in, Carol, was my best friend back then. Notice the bruises on my knee. I used to fall a lot when I was a kid and all my life. It's a wonder I still have my knees!

March 9, 2010-New Cast

I got a new cast on today. Thank God it's off my elbow! My elbow is real sore and it must be because of that other cast. Feels so good to put my arm down straight again. They x-rayed my wrist. The doctor said the bone is a little off. He didn't like that but said it wasn't enough to have surgery. I told him I wouldn't have surgery anyway. My thumb is bruised too from the cast poking into it the past three weeks. It seems to be off a little. Not sure why. This new cast is going to bug me a bit too around the thumb area. It's swollen around the base. That elbow is swollen and bruised too. My arm looked a mess. I washed it off with alcohol the best I could before they put the new cast on. My wrist was sore and I couldn't move it or it would hurt. I realized that it needed a lot more time to heal. I sure hope it does enough to put some weight on it again.
Seemed good to get out in the sun for a change. I had the guy who took me take me over to Abuchon hardware when we got back to get my critter food. I was real careful walking with only my one crutch. I did okay.
Now that I have my new enema syringe I have to try and get that baking soda around that tumor. I am feeling uncomfortable and aching again. I know that I probably can't beat this cancer but hoping to keep it at bay for a while and shrink that tumor a bit. Just wish I didn't have all these other problems at the moment. Makes everything so difficult.
The medical supply lady is coming Thursday morning with a demo wheelchair. She will be here at 9 am. I'll let you know how that goes.
Like my purple cast? Ha!

March 7th

My sister, Deb, came over again yesterday. (Sat) with her other daughter, Danielle. Deb was in more pain. I think she's being too active too soon after her surgery and told her to take it easy and be real careful or she might ruin the surgery.
I talked to my sister, Jane, and asked her about her lungs etc. She does have a couple white spots in both sides but the doctor said that if she hasn't had any more coughing up blood since that one time then to wait and get another CT scan in 6 months. She also has a fatty liver. And besides her Thyroid problem, which she keeps under control, then I guess she's okay for now.

Updates On Family Members-Mar. 5th

Debby's surgery on her shoulder was more extensive. She had a drip pain killer in her shoulder for the first night. Her daughter, Crystal, took her back to the doctor's office in New Hartford yesterday to have that taken out. When he un-bandaged it he found that the drip was never in her shoulder and must have fallen out when they bandaged it. Can you believe that crap! Deb thought she was bleeding but it was that stuff that pumped every two hours, getting her wet. Today Deb even got in the shower herself! Guess she will be okay. She wants to get out of the house so bad so she might stop over for a few minutes. Crystal will bring her. But I can't believe that the doctor told her she could drive with that sling on!! Maybe because it's her left side. I would have thought she'd be in too much pain to drive. Thank heavens though! If she can get out then that is great!

Here is what is going on with my sister, Pam. She wrote me this note.

"Well, just got back from my doctor and they gave me some
medicine and see if it
relieves the pain....doc said either an ulcer, gallbladder or pancreas.
..blood test I took today should tell more.....Steph is hanging in there
and I hope it's just bad cells....time will tell.  Thanks for the concern
and I will keep youup to date!  Love you all!"


And this is what my nephew, Rick, wrote to me yesterday about his problems:

"I'm off to a shitty year..and here I was being so positive and determined to
make it an awesome one!...I swear, I must have been a real mean bastard
in a pastlife and this life is for karmic debt relief.
I found out today (and not from my PCP) that I have some sort of cyst on my
liver..my osteopathic doc said this to me (while discussing my
"Frankenstein"
back) as though I already knew. Then I said "how about giving me a copy of that
report" so, when I went to my car, I read the rest of it and I apparently have a
"collapsed distal colon"..(not sure what this means). Nice of my doctor to give
me these results during my visit 2 weeks ago! Well, you know what they
say.."early detection is the key to defeating cancer", I guess that's why my
first visit with the colonoscopy doc is 2 1/2 months after my initial ER visit!
Is this all sounding familiar to you?"


And my brother, Rich, who broke his kneecap, still has his brace on and
goes back to the doctor
soon to see if it's okay.
He's driving his truck now anyway.

I'm still waiting to hear from the wheelchair lady. Left a message
for her today.
But won't hear from her till Monday probably.
She's on the road today.
My sister, Jeanne, has had a sinus infection for over three weeks
now and makes her miserable.

That's it for now!
Added A couple pics from Deb's visit today.
We are in the "one arm club". Ha! Ha!

March 3, 2010-Wed.-Family

My sister, Debby, is having her shoulder surgery this morning in Syracuse. Her daughter drove her up and will be staying overnight and taking her to the doctor's office tomorrow in New Hartford. Can't believe that she has to go back the next day to have stitches out. She's having laproscopy so maybe the stitches heal overnight? Weird. Anyway, Deb will be using one arm for two weeks. She has to be in a sling. I told her welcome to the "one arm" club. Ha! I hope it goes well for her and she will be able to cope okay. At least it isn't her right shoulder and she can write as usual and use her right hand. Sure wish I could.
And more bad news for my sister, Pam's, family. Her daughter, Stephanie, has been told she might have Cancer of the Cervix. She will be having more tests Friday. Sure hope it's not. She's too young for that. She's only 21 I think. I'll wait till I hear more and report later.
I'm feeling pretty good this morning. So far. But yesterday was uncomfortable. I was bleeding too much. I don't like that. That pain in my back comes and goes. Right now it isn't bothering me. Hopefully it will stay that way for the whole day. I have to get my vacuuming done.
I'll let you know how Deb makes out as soon as I hear anything.

March 1, 2010

Haven't felt that great today. My rectum has been aching and that pain in my back bothers me a lot. Maybe it's my Gall Bladder acting up again. Not sure.Anyway, I got my commode and transfer chair delivered today at 5:30 from Lennox Pharmacy. I dragged the commode into the bathroom but realized I had to take my seat cover off my toilet for it to fit. What a time unscrewing those long screws with one hand. They are real long because I also have that 4 inch seat riser on it. But I finally got them off and got the commode situated over the toilet. So much easier getting up now. My left shoulder needed a rest.
I won't put the transfer seat in the bathroom till I get this cast off and get my hand held shower head installed. That seat is quite large. I don't know how I'm going to handle that with my turtle sharing the tub. I really need to find a new home for him. I wish the zoo had an indoor pond that was warm and would take him. I'll have to call them soon. I will miss Jasper. I've had him for 15 years and he's so used to me. But I just can't take care of him any more. I'd never give him to a kid. Kids don't know how to take care of them.
This is the first I've been on the computer today. I'm not comfortable in my chair here with my wrist and my back pain. I've been watching more TV lately.
I never did get a call from the wheelchair lady. Maybe tomorrow.